I can't compete with that, but as long as we're telling our sob stories...
I got to college with 60 hours from AP tests teaken in highschool. I pushed myself hard to try and graduate in a year and a half. I got as far as needing 19 hours to graduate, and now I can't seem to complete those last few classes. I was supposed to graduate last semester, and it doesn't even look like I'm going to graduate this semester.
Also, it's been years since I've had a serious girlfriend. This inevitably leads to depression. Depression means you guys get new versions of Darwinbots (I program when I'm stressed. I find it relaxing).
Ironically, there is a friend I think is interested in me now, but it's not the same girl I'm interested in. Meaning that I'm torn between the two, and will inevitably fail in both.
Oh, and my parents stress me out, constantly harping on me for my inability to complete school. They'll probably pull the plug on me financially after this semester, meaning I will have to probably get a job in the summer, which can't possibly earn enough to pay for college next semester and will in the process stress me out more. All this means that I have no where I can go 'home'. School is stressful, 'home' is stressful. Uck.
Still, no one's died.