Jokes

[Zelos]

This topic is for [span style=\'font-size:14pt;line-height:100%\']JOKES[/span] only!!. we all need a laugh, so here it is :lol:  :lol:  :lol:  :lol:

[Zelos]

There were once a ant hill. every day a elephant came and put his trunk into the hill, and blow. The ants fly in every direction. One day the ants had it enough. So when the elephant one of them jumped and grabed the neck, then every ant yelled "GOOD, NOW STRANGEL HIM"

[Zelos]

mother: why do you never do what I tell you to do?
little arne: im afraid you´ll get spoilt if you allways get ur will through

[Zelos]

-do you go to school my boy, askes a old lady?
-yes, everyday, answered olle!
-how old are you?
-8 years!
-im 50 years old and go to school to. can you guess what I am then?
-dum of course

[Zelos]

-waiter, is there soup on the meny today?
-no, I just wiped dry

[Mutchy]

Blind Man.....

A blonde girl just stepped into the bathtub when the doorbell rang.
"Who is it?"
"Blind man," came the response.
Feeling charitable, the blonde dashed from the tub without bothering to put on any clothes,
grabbed her purse, and opened the door. The man's jaw dropped and he stammered, "Wh-where do you want me to put these blinds, lady?"

[Zelos]

-waiter, do you have frog legs?
-nom I just walk strange!

[Zelos]

-its good acoustics in this hall!
-what did you say?

[Zelos]

-emil, give aunt anna a kiss! said mom
-no, said emil
-why not? wondered mom
-when dad kissed her, he got punshed

[Zelos]

-isnt it strange that the biggest jackasses get the most beautifulest womans?
-oh, dear you, now you flatter me again!

[Zelos]

-why does my stomach hurt doctor?
-what do you eat?
-only green stuff, like doctor told me.
-like?
-green tomatos, green bananas, and green potato

[Zelos]

-doctor, is there anything wrong whit my heart?
-ive examened ur heart very precisely and I can say that it will work as long as you live

[Zelos]

one ittle boy started to play violin. when he came to the violin lesson was it a machinegun in the violin case
-why do you have a machinegun whti you? screamed the violin teacher
-damn it, now did my dad get my violin to the bank
 :lol:

[Zelos]

It was a boy who watched a football match, when his mam came in and said:
-its time for bed, and say ur evning pray.
-but mom, we shouldnt bother god in the middle of the match

[Numsgil]

Two statues were in a park, one male, the other female.  Many men and women fell in love under the gaze of these beautiful statues.

One day an angel came from Heaven.  "You have been such good statues," he said, "that I will grant you half an hour of life.  You may do anything you want."

The two statues came to life, the man gazing at the woman, the woman gazing at the man.  The male statue grabbed the female's hands and they ran into the bushes.

The angel smiled as he heard rustling and giggling.  15 minutes later the couple returned.

"You still have 15 minutes," the angel said.  "Isn't there anything else you want to do?"

The male statue turned to the girl.  "Again?"

The girl statue smiled.  "Okay, but this time you hold the pigeon down and I'll poop on its head!"